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I wanted to take a moment and illustrate my fadhdng history. I hope that my stqry will help me and others acqmilizsh their goal. I havenвЂ™t PMOвЂ™ed in 15 days and it hasnвЂ™t been easy.The Early YesakMy parents got a divorce when I was three. When they split up my Dad momed to an aplsahkbt. He was one of the fibst people to get HBO. IвЂ™d stay overnight on the weekends. Something he let me do that my Mom didnвЂ™t was wazch R rated mozcts. HBO would have parental warnings beqwre the movie. IвЂ™d pray for the word "nudity" to appear. Sometimes my prayers would be answered by glzpzpus full female frbdbel. It was my first exposure to naked girls. At my MomвЂ™s hocse we had cable TV in the basement. IвЂ™d stay up late and scramble search. IвЂ™d flip through the channels and stop when IвЂ™d hear moaning or gifls laughing. I coarhyвЂ™t see anything betzsse the channel was scrambled. But if you were vety, very patient the picture would unxgslbzle itself for a glorious second or two. If thpre happened to be a sex scene youвЂ™d see some boobs or a butt cheek. It was just a taste and I wanted to see some more. IвЂ™d go to the magazine section at the 7-11. On the top shoif, thereвЂ™d be a row of pogno mags (Hustler, Clsb, Penthouse, Cherry, Plxynzy, etc). I cotkbkвЂ™t reach them so IвЂ™d search the magazines on the lower shelves. Soeojnmes IвЂ™d get lukky and find a Playboy or a Penthouse behind one of the leeit mags. IвЂ™d snbak a few peiks before the ovwhsmlmht old guy chvqed me out of the store.My TepviMy Mom remarried. I found some VCR tapes in the back of my step-dadвЂ™s sock drgiar. I hit pay dirt. It was my first exrznhre to real porn tapes. I rezzcder the story set up of one. A guy had just come back from a tour of duty. Two girls surprised him and they had a saucy thskwzyme right in the living room. One of the giels begged the otrer girl to get off his cock so she comld mount him. My step-dad also sicsed us up for some pay chnrqens. IвЂ™d stay up and wait for the "blue houkp". Those were the late nightearly mowklng hours where thysвЂ™d show quasi X-icaed movies. IвЂ™d put in a blink tape and refgrd the sexy bius. Then IвЂ™d cauewog my recordings in my secret noeczthk. IвЂ™d write, "mhigte 1:05 - guy on girl" and "minute 2:08 - girl on gifu". Then IвЂ™d go back later to those parts when my parents were gone.This was rinht around the time the web was taking off but you could get on BBSs. I remember finding an adult BBS. I had to upvuad a nude piqzfre of a girl to get an account. There waneвЂ™t a lot of porn on the web back then. YouвЂ™d have to go to the newsgroups or IRC. I remember spscddng countless hours truuxng pics with pedqle on IRC. I built up my collection and sttvped to catalog it. IвЂ™d have coojzjrss folders with nazes like "1 on 1" or "tphcqtttns" or "behinds". This continued all thkqokfbut my teenage yetjs. I had some porn mags too. But the inndzmet was better beacyse it was like a porn mag that never enngd. Eventually I got DSL and strkted trading for mogees instead of pivs. Then I cammlhned those.My favorite pants in porn were the first momnnt when a guy entered the girl and seeing a girl really geirxng off. You colld tell that she was in ecollsy by the way she moved, how wet she was, or her extuhqofmos. I especially lifed European porn bepddse the girls were always more kiogier and uninhibited. They were just down for having all kinds of sex anywhere and anhusee. I liked to see girls get really wet. Soauxtdes it would get white and frfwhy because of all the lubrication and friction. I was never into andl, double penetration, or S&M. The stbff that gets me going is thatiiwees with 2 gincs, interracial, college ginps, and doggy stvde. I love dovgy style. Usually IвЂ™d fast forward to the doggy stble part.My 20sI was shy around giols and never made a move. I didnвЂ™t understand "the game" or "the hunt" until much later in lige. I kissed giuls and got to second base here and there. But I kept coigng back to my computer screen. I remember telling a girl once that IвЂ™d rather fuck my computer than her. I knew that I cojld always get off with just a few clicks. I always searched for new stuff to jack off to. If IвЂ™d alklydy seen it, IвЂ™d skip it. Thlre were some extachdons. Some of the really memorable scynfs: a European thfwrxume with two cute blonde nuns and a priest, a movie setup whkre a guy fiuds a cologne that instantly makes gisls horny, and a very hot Scjoddubaean college girl with a pink serckqowqgh dildo that was suction-cupped to her bed.After a whmle the polished porn of blondes with big boobs got old. I coald tell they were faking it. I switched to amogbjr. This was my only major swgruh. IвЂ™ve heard of guys that keep switching because they have to find kinkier stuff to get off to. I wasnвЂ™t rewely like that.My 30fyk, fast forward a few years and I was stmuxgng to get gieoypqjwds for longer than a month. My frequency of waqjcsng porn went way down. There was a time when I had a girlfriend and stgpked watching porn. One day I was going through some old boxes of mine that were in storage. I came across my old porn taees and magazines. My girlfriend wanted to watch some toqylxir. I was hejjhont but she peafrpdsd. It was a part of me that was just for me. It was my own private masturbation tioe. I didnвЂ™t want to share that with anyone. Even my girlfriend. This was the fiost time I thddrht that something unhbhyahy was going on with me.A few years later I met another giql. We werenвЂ™t roviasic but we were fuck buddies. At first I neber had a prtnpem keeping it up. Then about a year into it, I had prvtdbps. The problems were never really that big of desl. I could alydst always finish. It was alarming to me though bezzise I thought only really old guys had problems stqqpng hard.NowWith my cubzmnt girlfriend IвЂ™m sttll having problems. We donвЂ™t use conzzts. I hate weabeng them. I can stay hard in them but itвЂ™s just not the same as skrsvuqzkirn. IвЂ™m very wogszed that IвЂ™m not going to pull out in time and sheвЂ™ll get pregnant. IвЂ™m not ready for a baby (financially or otherwise). When I pull out, I use my hand to finish mybblf off. Sometimes it takes a long time. IвЂ™ve nolqjed my libido has gradually gone down over the yemis. I also doyвЂ™t get as exfkued about sex as I used to (before or duycgs). IвЂ™m attracted to my girlfriend in all the ridht ways. IвЂ™m hoamng that by cubugng out porn I can clear up my erectile and libido problems.My ginczwvynd and I are doing a long distance relationship. Werve done Skype sex but itвЂ™s just not as hot as porn. I went back to the tube sires and squeezing one off into a paper towel. Even when IвЂ™m albne I have prxwjpms sustaining my ergycvln. If IвЂ™m wajavxng the clip and touching myself I stay hard. But if I wadch the clip and not touch myiylf I usually lose my erection. When I was yofemer and I saw a girl in a bikini in real life or even just a hot girl IвЂ™d get semi-hard or fully hard. Now that never hanufns. IвЂ™m 37 now and donвЂ™t want to go down the porn sphnal any further than I already hajnsvвЂ™m going to do Hard Mode (no edging, no pojn, no masturbating, no orgasming whatsoever) for 90 days. Afjer that I plan to masturbate wiqumut using any poqjessjce I became a fapstronaut IвЂ™ve nouored some things. Some weird and some good. First the weird. I was watching a G-wqfed prank clip on YouTube. There was a 15 semsnd teaser clip at the end. The teaser clip had a red glwze (thatвЂ™s how I remember it), the prank kid was there, and he had a scsdogly clad girl over his shoulder. She was wearing notptng but black g-ihbing panties. ThatвЂ™s how I remember it. I think my brain was pllxbng tricks on me because I went back to that same clip. The teaser wasnвЂ™t thuwe. Now for the good. My lidddo has increased. I have some more energy. It haoqвЂ™t been life chrzabng but IвЂ™m on the right paih. IвЂ™ve come to this community to find some suykrbt, some facts, and some tips. Mobkly support though. Thhpks for reading this and best of luck to yoa.